This article focuses on suggested actions to preserve your financial security and wellbeing when physically removing yourself from an abusive relationship. We hope this information proves to be exceedingly valuable, but cannot guarantee this is a complete or exhaustive list.

Protecting Your Information

Pick new personal identification numbers (PINs), passwords, and security questions for all financial and non-financial accounts your partner may have access to just before you leave. Possibly as soon as a few hours before if you’re afraid of your partner finding out (or as soon as possible afterward). Using a password storage tool like LastPass or Bitwarden would help speed this process up quite a lot. If you haven’t already, think about setting this up before leaving. It would allow you to quickly change to new, highly secure passwords without needed to remember them or write them down elsewhere. Avoid using answers to security questions that your partner could guess to keep them from changing your login credentials, borrowing money in your name, or draining your accounts.

Change backup emails and phone numbers where applicable, and wipe saved password data and account access from any devices you’ll be leaving behind. This could be accomplished most easily by removing saved passwords in your account settings (iCloud, Google). All physical mail should be forwarded to a trusted address and you should transfer your phone to a new wireless plan immediately before leaving.

Physical & Shared Assets

Here’s a list of physical items to take with you when leaving, besides the documents listed in Part 2 of this series. Please consult with advocacy groups for additional guidance. This article is focused only on the financial elements and should not be considered a complete list. Remember, nothing is more important than your safety:

• Spare car keys
• Checkbook
• Cash
• Small, valuable physical property such as jewelry, precious metals, electronics, and collectibles
• All known keys to safety deposit boxes and storage units, if applicable
• A physical copy of important addresses and phone numbers
• Username and login information (if kept on a physical document, however this could be a liability for a number of reasons)

If you live in a “community property” state, where anything earned or accumulated during marriage is divided evenly in a divorce, you are legally entitled to half of those assets. The rest of the states will split property based on what each person contributed (among other factors), meaning it may or may not be an even split. If you have access to the bank accounts, it could make sense to withdraw 50% of the accounts to prevent your partner from hiding or spending it. If you choose to do this, you should wait until immediately before leaving as it will almost certainly alert your partner to your plans. To protect yourself, take a screenshot of the accounts showing the date and amounts before and after you withdrew money. If balance is over $5,000 to $10,000, you may have to physically visit the bank to have funds withdrawn same-day. Also, be sure to remove any personal items from shared safe deposit boxes and transfer them to a separate box. The new box can also store your financial documents, sentimental items, family heirlooms, jewelry, pictures, or other valuables.